Two key pop culture debuts changed this mixed-race millennium. The first was in 1990 when a newly married Mariah Carey sang “Vision Of Love” on “MTV Unplugged.” And the second appeared in a newspaper ad for a brand new show featuring twins separated at birth: “Sister, Sister.”
As soon as “twin-damonium” came on ABC, I rocked out in a Blossom hat, flannel button-down, and baggy jeans. Tamera and Tia Mowry were brilliant brunettes with a hit TV show filled with humor and heart — and they had curls just like me! Since then, I’ve felt a connection to the two of them as their careers have gone from Sister, Sister to Twitches, Tia Mowry-Hardrict to The Game, and Tamer Mowry-Housley to an Emmy-winning turn . on “The Real.”
And with the same familiarity I devoured Maury-Housley’s new memoir, “You’ve Got to Sit Down for It: A Memoir of Life, Wine, and Cookies.” As only she can, Mowry-Housley takes readers on a journey through her life, from her early days in beauty pageants, to Sister Sister fame, to falling in love, to every highlight of her career. Talking to Maury-Housley feels like the end of my millennial interview Olympus (after all, I interviewed Maury-Hardrict years ago).
If you’re reading “You should sit down for this,” chances are you are will be reach for anything: a glass of Prosecco, some mint Milano, or even your phone to text Tamera-isms in your group chat. And that familiar reflex was Maury-Housley’s goal all along. “I wanted people to feel like they were with me, and it was important that you feel my personality,” Mowry-Housley tells POPSUGAR. “You heard my voice.”
Mawry-Housley’s upbeat spirit permeates her entire story, whether she’s taking you through the moment of signing the “Sister, Sister” pact or as you go on one terrifying date after another with her. There is always something to learn, no matter how difficult—or even enjoyable—the lesson.
Of course, we had to talk about the cultivation of curly trees. Although Maury-Hardrict and Maury-Housley became curly-girl icons back in the ’90s, they were just trying to stay true to their identities. “When we did ‘Sister, Sister,’ we were just being ourselves,” shares Mowry-Housley. “It never occurred to me to straighten my hair until — here’s the funny thing — until I got older. Because girls with curly hair were not considered sexy. But there’s been a curly hair movement for a while, which I’m grateful for because we’ve been at it for a very long time.”
It’s easy to think back to the era when all my friends were blowing themselves up every Sunday or asking their parents for relaxers. I wanted to look like my other teen icon, Aaliyah, which meant a lot of trial and error with the blow dryer. And even though she was already a megastar, Mowry-Housley felt that pressure, too. Stars or not, sleek locks signified sexiness and sophistication at the end of that decade and the beginning of this decade.
“Your hair was not considered professional. They were considered dissolute. They were seen as cute, unsexy, unadulterated,” says Mowry-Housley. “That’s why we straightened our hair at the end of the series, because we wanted to be seen as sexy grown women.”
But one day she had enough, and she suffered a big cut. “I’ll never forget it,” she begins. “I auditioned and honestly said, ‘I’m so tired of being married in a salon.’ By salon marriage, I meant I had to get my hair done every two weeks. And the more I walked, the more my curls were damaged.”
She shares that once she went natural, casting directors said they “just couldn’t get past” her hair at auditions, where she wore it curly. “What the hell do you mean you couldn’t get past my hair? Like my hair was distracting? My hair is who I am,” says Mowry-Housley. “But just like when I talk about the skeptics in the book, I wasn’t going to let them define me. I was going to walk in my truth and live authentically and I cut all my hair off because my hair was damaged. And then I started to grow my hair back, and not only did my hair grow back, but it grew back on me.”
Standing in your truth fundamentally justifies “You have to stand for it.” And part of that truth is that Mowry-Housley owns her “goody two shoes.” It’s another quality that this writer can relate to in a big way—when you’re black and a goody-two-shoes, criticism is always right around the corner. We’re talking about the flashback moment when teenagers Maury-Housley and Maury-Hardrict left their hotel in New York without guards and found themselves surrounded by a crowd of fans. “There are only such rule-followers in life. I’m one of them,” says Mowry-Housley. “And I have moments where I just don’t want to follow the rules. Since I’m such a rule follower, I just let myself do it. I just wanted to see. And that was a lesson.”
And while Mowry-Housley serves her memoir with a healthy dose of sweetness — she literally begs readers to devour the pages and while also a cookie — she talks a lot about mental toughness, specifically donning “mental boxing gloves” during her time on “The Real.” She shows that good girls are not doormats; you can’t mess with them.
“I learned the limits,” shares Mowry-Housley. “You can also set mental boundaries. I had to learn to say that being kind and loving means being wise and setting boundaries. My mental gloves will not allow someone who does not know me, who has no intention of being kind, their main motive is simply doubt. I won’t let it affect me anymore. I won’t let it define me.”
“My mental gloves won’t let someone who doesn’t know me, who has no intention of being nice, their main motive is just to be shady. I’m not going to let it affect me anymore. I won’t let it define me.”
And Mowry-Housley credits much of that growth to her time on the show. “I wasn’t prepared for people to take something you said that you didn’t mean at all and twist it, turn it around and then make assumptions based on it and then take things out of context,” she shares she “Who does this?”
Mawry-Housley currently has Hallmark movies slated for holiday release – “Friendship” and “Inventing a Christmas Prince”— who bring nostalgia and its bright spirit to the small screen. But can we expect to see Mowry-Housley on another talk show? “It has to be special,” Mowry-Housley says. “It’s got to be uplifting. It’s got to be powerful, so we’re really inspiring, helping people’s lives.” This lifelong Maury-Housley fan hosts a talk show for her. “Who knows?” Mowry-Housley tells POPSUGAR. – Maybe with my sister.
Famous for more than 30 years, Mowry-Housley’s memoir turns the dial on her story without static, with her as the sole narrator. Readers will learn that so much of what they know about Mowry-Housley is her most authentic self, and they’ll witness the grit and drive that made her such a success. And she attributes most of this success to her faith and four strong letters: hope. “I always say, shine bright like a diamond. To be a diamond, you have to be under pressure,” Mowry-Housley says. “You have to go through all that pressure. So you have to go through the tunnel. You have to go through the mess. But there is hope. There is hope on the other side. You just have to get to the other side.”
“You Gotta Sit Down For It: Memories of Life, Wine and Cookies” available October 4.